I'm feeling fuzzy.... maybe it's all the salt water

Yet again, for the 3rd time this week, we are out of school. The massive amounts of snow ( 1/10th of an inch) was enough to shut down our school system for the 2nd day in a row! (I am secretly pleased, though mystified, at the light dusting of snow that is resiliently sticking to the grass. I want to go outside and roll around in it, and eat the snow stuck on my car, but Jeff won't let me because I'm getting sick, and thinks that "car snow" is gross. JUST BECAUSE MY CAR HASN'T BEEN WASHED IN 6 MONTHS DOESN'T MEAN THAT IT'S /DIRTY/. )

So, anyway, I'm feeling sickly, and have so far spent my morning gargling salt water and smashing paper towel chunks against the back of my throat to squish the inflammation. (I'm sure there is a medical term for that.)

I can really only blame myself for my sickness anyway. I probably caught it last night while playing "isketch" with my friend paco from 8bit (a mush I play on). There is nothing more of a  hilarious giggle-fest than online pictionary.

Internet connection ..... $65.00
Wireless headset & mic ... $125.00
Laptop computer .... $1,200.00

Beating all of the losers in a 2nd rate pictionary room (namely "Steve" and "Stevesucks") by drawing pictures of fat red chickens with black warts and giggling out the /real/ answers to skype friends     ..... PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!

Mysteries, eyebrows, and hobos

Some days it just feels natural to want to be a little difficult. Each day I try to pick at least one semi-awkward annoying habit to mischievously aggravate & amuse my 3rd grade students. Today, I chose the "eyebrow raise." Very craftily done, the process is simple. First, face the students with a cheery wide eyed smile. Then, as random and crafty as possible, raise an eyebrow. No matter what happens, one eyebrow MUST remain up at all times. The fun part is secretly switching raised eyebrows while facing the board. Absolutely at NO time must involvement or acknowledgement of said eyebrow be revealed. While most students in general are be absolutely clueless to facial features (slackers), some students pick up on the eyebrow gestures right away.

Me: Good Morning, class. Is everyone having a wonderful day?

Students: yay school

Me: Well, I'm glad we're all ready to learn, now to get started....

New-Kid/Larry: I don't want to learn today.

Me: (eyebrow raise) *slow pivotal turn towards kid* Excellent Larry. I mean, /someone/ has to be the future class hobo. I'm so glad to have finally found someone who would much rather run laps for me at recess than learn really easy stuff. *_* Class lets all congratulate Larry on getting started on his hobo career!!!! (eyebrow switch)

Students: hahaha Larry's going to be a hobo.

Me: (eyebrow switch) Larry I'm going to write your name on the board right now so I won't forget...

New-Kid/Larry: No, no Mrs. Ferrell. I'm just kidding, I don't want to run laps, I want to learn.

Me: (eyebrow switch) *sad face* Well if you /insist/ Larry. That's just too bad, I wonder if anyone else wants to run laps for me. I just love it soooooo much. *looks around room*

Students: *sit straight, *smile, *hands folded (innocent, HAH yeah right)

Me: (eyebrow switch) Okay then, today we are re-analyzing the difference between prisms and pyramids, because apparently we had amnesia yesterday and forgot during our test. *faces board*

Group 1: [overheard whispers]

[New Kid: Mrs. Ferrell's funny.]

[Other Kid: SSSHHH! Her eye is doing that /thing/ again.]

[Smart Kid: Yeah. She said it twitches when it's looking for hobos.]

[Group: *gasp* *immediate silence*]

Who said elementary classroom management was /hard/? *scoff*

I brake for suckers

Let me start off by saying that today was just like all of my other perfectly ordinary sensational days.

If you aren't already aware, Rhea County schools are out for a "sickness epidemic" (apparently it's a mental sickness). I pondered the many ways to spend my "free day" and half heartedly attempted one of them. Jeffrey is always on me to do some housework. So, in his absence (he supposedly went to grade papers at school)(more like goofing) I carefully selected a dish out of the sink, washed it, dried it, and decided against putting it away in favor of scooping ice cream into it. I did almost wash a spoon though. (almost)  

Hopefully tomorrow will be just as delightful.

Day 1: The Beginning

Well, well, well... Look who's attempting to blog again! Oh, I know, and /you're/ absolutely correct. This small-- but insubstantial-- burst of newbie-blogging-excitement that I'm full of right now is sure NO guarantee of exciting and/or life altering posts like "I'm going to make the world a better place, one step at a time" or "I've decided to become a foster parent despite my inhibiting fear of strangers". On the contrary, my giddy-cake-fueled-excitement is better interpreted into posts like:  "Guess What?! My fat dog fell off the bed again. LOL" or "I ate an old cheese stick left on the frying pan just now" or even "Look at me squish this cherry jello". It's my way of making every minute detail of my semi-repetitive life count for something. (Just the way God meant for it to be.)

Example: "Getting dressed" is a somewhat commonplace but such a delightfully overlooked activity that just seems to happen all on its own every single morning, that I wonder WHY I EVEN BOTHER DOING IT.

Laying in the bed this morning, half covered up with the comforter, with a pillow firmly pressed over my eyeballs, and my husband, Jeffrey, yelling at me, "Get up you lazy bum!"; I momentarily pondered succumbing to my deepest darkest desire of never getting dressed -ever- again.

Imagine n e v e r having to spend /countless/ seconds pondering what-the-crap color shirt matches a PEACH skirt, or deciding which sticker to stick that crappy unrelenting mustard stain that I never bothered to get out.  Imagine all those boring hours spent washing, drying, ironing, folding clothes dispelled forever. Just me and my pajamas and years worth of slimy grimy filth, going to church, and work, and PTO meetings.

I mean to be honest, I'm already half way there. I probably spend at least 3 minutes of my every day life, pondering how to go about ignoring the giant piles of laundry mounding up on the floor. LIKE I CARE ABOUT WRINKLES OR SMELLING LIKE A HOBO. It gives me character.

In the end, I picked conformity. Yeah, so obviously, another 7 minutes of my life was wasted today getting dressed. But don't worry, I gained them back, by forgetting to brush my hair or eat the yogurt flavored breakfast bar I set out a day in advance, in  a rush to go to church. I doubt that Jeff even noticed that I used his toothbrush by accident again.

As usual, 2 1/2 hours of thought provoking church time today. Followed by 10 minutes of hilarious reflection of crazy-church-guy comparing Mother Teresa with the Hitler. (WHAAAT). Followed by another 2 1/2 hours of Sunday lunch mixed with sibling rivalry. (Those power engineering know-it-alls, and their cheat sheets of insanely complicated code.) Oh yeah WELL I DON'T KNOW HOW TRANSFORMERS WORK, BUT I CAN TEACH 9 YEAR OLDS HOW TO COUNT BY 4s TO THE TUNE OF SILENT NIGHT.

Brother/Engineer: My work is infinitely complicated.
Me: o, rly?
Brother/Engineer: Yeah, you couldn't fathom the complexity of it
Me: WELL SO'S YOUR FACE

(Point for the Cimo)